Man: Authentic soya sauce yeah Mr? (bottle reads ‘The No 1 Authentic Soya Sauce’, badge reads ‘Presidential Candidate’)

Kid: But soybeans are scarce and expensive!

Popular food staples tempeh and tofu have virtually disappeared from traditional markets due to soybean shortages and souring prices caused by price fixing and hoarding by food import cartels. There seems to be no scarcely however of presidential hopefuls all branding themselves as the most authentic and tasty candidate on the market.